What is a "Good Kid"? (from a child's point of view)

 Exactly what is a “good kid”?

Does she do everything you say?

Would she rather do her homework than go outside and play?

Does he obediently go to bed at the same time every day?

Will she follow instruction always--never to discover her own way?

‘Cause I’m thinking that defiance ain’t all that horrific,

The reason for my rebellion is really, fully scientific.

How can my path be discovered when the one ahead is riddled,

With your footsteps—and you’d like my feet’s prints in the middle.

Never straying too far left or right, always shuffling ahead,

With my eyes fixed on “progression”, a route which is said

To bring stability, prosperity, as long as my fidelity

Aligns with the rationale of this ridiculous un-finity.

But I crave more than security, than a life full of prediction,

An existence free of worry, sadness or infliction.

Living with an open heart, embracing what is here,

Is how I choose to find my path--to see past want and fear.

You won’t find me planning life around gaining wages,

I follow my spirit’s guidance, applauding all my stages.

Never pushing too far ahead or peering too far back,

Is the method that I use to keep myself on track.

I’m not a good kid, but I wouldn’t call myself appalling,

I’m just searching for new ways to fulfill my life’s calling.

So before you scoff or cheer, judging my behavior as worthy or unsound,

Recall the child’s journey of steering spirit on the ground.

Lend me a helping hand to discover my own being,

And I will show you all life needs is sincere believing.

~*Eternal Peace, Love and Wisdom*~

 

 

-D.J.

The Polarity Experience: Positivity-Negativity

For a minute—step outside of the confines of our value-laden cognition patterns—what is positivity? What is negativity? What makes these concepts in opposition?

 

Positivity and negativity are concepts—they are not real. You cannot touch them, you cannot inform them of anything, they are not even constant or universal.  I will not dip my toe in the pool of nihilism here and say that there is nothing—that there IS no right/wrong, good/bad and life is a moral free for all.  Instead I argue that the way in which we choose to conceptualize (think) and operationalize (act upon) these constructs is often “willy-nilly” and is largely dependent on social settings/contexts.  We can hardly perform a behavior--no matter how high our intentions--that does not harm another being since all consequences of our behaviors are largely hidden and unforeseen.  Yet, all actions have a clandestine mission to balance the whole "system".

 Everything simultaneously needs to be brought into balance and is already in balance.  This is because there is both a time-bound existence in which we perceive things to need to change to be in balance, and a timeless experience wherein things are already in balance.  This relates to Bentley's Paradox which is concerned with the question of whether the Universe is infinite or finite. The idea here is that if the Universe is infinite, then "the force on any object, tugging it to the left or right, would be also infinite, and therefore the stars should be ripped to shreds in fiery cataclysms" (Kaku, 2005).  The other side of the paradox is that if the Universe is finite, then the Universe would collapse on itself.  I believe this is just another paradox in which both sides are true.  Just as we have a life that is bounded by time, and another existence that transcends it--so is the Universe both finite and infinite.  Finite in that this Universe will come to an end and infinite in that another existence that supersedes our idea of a Universe will continue because it never ceases being. 

What exists is a whole ecological system that is best understood together to highlight its interdependencies—but when we use our judgmental faculties we see “good” and “bad”.
“Oh look a bunny! [good] Oh no, a fox is about to eat it!” [bad]. But it’s good if you’re the fox right? 
The labeling/categorization of positive and negative is highly influenced by what “team” you are playing for. This in-group/out-group push and shove is an enduring facet of human history.  It is in our ancient religious texts and on our modern-day television and computer screens.  It goes something like: Group A doesn't like Group B so Group A makes up false accusations or judges and embellishes behaviors enacted by Group B as unusual and thus, "bad".  Group A is "normal", and normal is "good".  And of course, on the other side, we have Group B claiming they are normal and Group A is "bad".  It really takes both camps to participate in a stereotype for it to stick and have meaning.   

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Yet until we realize that we are on the same team—that positivity and negativity is a byproduct of the ideology that there are “teams”—we will be stuck in an endless debate about who is good/bad, positive/negative, and who can and cannot be trusted or legitimately share their opinions.

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Many of us yearn to wake from this black and white novella and step into the kaleidoscope of  life which embraces and includes light and dark—and everything in between—into a beautiful tapestry of life.  The question is:  how do we create an ethos that does not revolve around avoiding bad and embracing good?

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then your thoughts and feelings are worth millions.  The links between our thoughts, feelings and speech create and categorize our experiences into limiting storage bins.  (This was good, that was bad.)  To arrive at a way of life that minimizes this dichotomy and maximizes the ecological fluidity that is your life, changing your thought behaviors is a necessary step.  When we spend our time labeling positive and negative aspects, we end up focusing on what we want to experience (desire) and what we don't want to experience (fear) rather than what is (experience). 

One way to minimize the pitfalls of fear and desire is to be truly thankful for what we do have, and to speak,  think and feel about things in a different way.  Instead of saying, "I want/need to lose weight."  Try rephrasing it as, "I am losing weight."  And then most importantly--go do it.  "Want" and "Desire" are akin to "try".  You can say, "I am trying to lose weight." But why throw the "try" in there?  A logical follow-up to this statement that is not being said is, "but, I'm not losing any weight." 

 Focus on DOING--instead of "trying", "wanting" or "avoiding".  Frame your thinking and your words with craft to reflect action and a transcendence of a dualistic point of view.

Taking the time to judge your interactions with people, places and things as positive/negative takes you out of your current moment of experience.  When you are reflecting on the events of the day or thinking about what you will do tomorrow you are taking yourself out of the only moment that really matters-NOW.  Sure, it is useful to reflect at times to come up with new solutions to a reoccurring problem.  But when we focus on how we judged others or how we felt others judged us (i.e. Did I look stupid when I did such and such?  Do I look like this person when I do that?  Did that person mean to make me feel like that?)  we are largely wasting our time.  What other people think of you is none of your business.  What matters is how you feel about you.

Living happens in the now.  What matters is the choices you make right now.  Choosing to relegate your now experience to thinking about time that has or has not happened yet is fruitless.  Focusing on the past and future is often where we tumble into those pitfalls of "desire" and "fear".  When you bring your attention into the present, you may notice that joy is readily available.  That instead of groping for that thing, person or event that will make you happy, the experience of being alive is joyful in itself.  You can begin to open up your intuitive faculties and to shut down the cyclical thought patterns that produce the same events and emotions that you are trying to "want" and "avoid" your way out of.

It is here--in this space where you recognize the loving interconnectedness of your life to others around you in the NOW moment--that you can learn to transcend the positivity/negativity trap.  You can truly learn to love with your heart open, free of judgment and not be scared of being taken advantage of.  How could you?  No one can take more than you give because there is an infinite supply of love.  (isn't that great!)

Not the smothering and selfish kind of love where you ultimately want others TO BE LIKE YOU—the way you deem is correct, worldly, right—but to accept them for who they are and to help each other out of bleakness of duality. 
 

Unconditional love feels like you are the friend, the enemy, the mother, the father, the brother, the sister, the oppressor and the oppressed all rolled into one—you cannot decipher your relationship with them in this terminology and you needn’t do so because you are recognizing that you are staring your CREATOR in the face.

 

Love freely and you will always be free,

In La Kesh

{"I am another you"}

~*Sophia Alcyone*~